Health, Happiness, Life
Amy. 19. England.

I'm in love with the most amazing person

In recovery for bulimia, depression, anxiety and BPD

GF/T1 diabetic/vegan in transition

coffee, OITNB, gym, dance, books, photography, fashion, tattoos, animals, nature, travelling, happiness, health, love, life


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Feeling good for once

I quit my job today, the one that makes me cry and have panic attacks before/during every shift…my last shift is Sunday this week, I have 3 interviews already to arrange which are much higher paid jobs, I’ve managed to get referred back to my old eating disorder clinic, I’m finally getting my haircut (in the style I’ve always been too scared to get!) after two years of neglecting it, and I’m finally starting to take baby steps in taking care of myself. I’m making these decisions for me and my health and because I want to, and it feels good!

" eat, baby.
eat.
chew.
please.
I know it hurts. I know it doesn’t feel good.
please.
I know your hunger is different than mine.
I know it doesn’t taste the same as mine.
imagine you could grow up all over again
and pinpoint the millisecond that you started
counting calories like casualties of war,
mourning each one like it had a family.
would you?
sometimes I wonder that.
sometimes I wonder if you would go back
and watch yourself reappear and disappear right in front of your own eyes.
and I love you so much.
I am going to hold your little hand through the night.
just please eat. just a little.
you wrote a poem once,
about a city of walking skeletons.
the teacher called home because you
told her you wished it could be like that
here.
let me tell you something about bones, baby.
they are not warm or soft.
the wind whistles through them like they are
holes in a tree.
and they break, too. they break right in half.
they bruise and splinter like wood.
are you hungry?
I know. I know how much you hate that question.
I will find another way to ask it, someday.
please.
the voices.
I know they are all yelling at you to stretch yourself thinner.
l hear them counting, always counting.
I wish I had been there when the world made you
snap yourself in half.
I would have told you that your body is not a war-zone,
that, sometimes,
it is okay leave your plate empty.
"

— empty plate | Caitlyn Siehl (via alonesomes)
" I am better than I was.
I will be better than I am.
"

— (140/365) by (DS)